Teen Titans on Coke ACola
by rolloverdjfanofraebb
Summary: They're not really on drugs, just, something else. Just please read, my first! RR please try to be nice
1. Part One: SugarHeads

I don't Own Teen Titans, or Sugarcult.

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* * *

_I should have never mentioned the word, "Convienience Store" to Starfire. It was a mistake we all regret, especially Raven. Why did I show them the CANDY ASILE?!

"What is this?" A curious Starfire asked me.

We were in the candy asile at the local Speed-E-Mart.Thinking she'd might like candy, I told her, "It's candy, the most wonderful invention of all time."

"Candy?" Starfire anunciated, for the first time.

"It's useless junk that alters your way of thinking." Came a monotone voice, twas my dear Raven.

"Alters?" Starfire asked. She turned to face the SHUUUugar YUUUUM. It was a brand of candy even too powerful for me. It took you for a Sugar High ride. Local kids made a joke that said it had cocaine in it. Of couse this wasn't true.

"This looks quite good," Starfire said, showing Raven and I.

Before I could warn her, Starfire riped open the package, and poured the entire packet into her mouth. Her face became one compressed line. Her eyes were shut so tight, they seemed to disappear. Her lips pushed so close together, they turned white. Her head seemed to pop. Starfire seemed to get over the worst. Her eyes went back to normal. The worst was coming.

Crazy, but that's how it goes

Millions of people, living as foes

Maybe its not too late

To learn how to love,

and forget how to hate

Mental wounds not healing

Life's a bitter shame

I'm going of the rails on a crazy train.

Robin had then just discovered the 'wonders' of Ozzy Ousbourne. He and Cy were at home.

"Booya!" Cyborg began, as he started into a chorus of 'booya's'. He had just beaten the Teen Titans game, we got it just for the sake of getting it.

Sure, the game sucked pretty badly, and when Raven was supposed to say, "Azirath Metrion Zinthos," it sounded as if she said, "Azul Metriod Zinthonium."

"So like, where's this party, cuz, I'm all like, allergic to the neeeerds." Came a familiar voice. It was none other than Starfire.

"Totally, me too. I am like, soooo ghetto phabulous." Raven said.

Robin whiped around so fast to see if the girls were kidding or not, his hair was windblown to a side. Cyborg just sat on the couch, laughing like an idiot.

"Soooo, like what is tin man's prob? Did he like.... OD on losergas?" Raven asked, in a valleygirl voice.

"Sugar Yum." Beast Boy said flatly.

"Sugar Yum?!" Came Terra's voice from behind. "I SO LOVE SUGAR YUM!"

She tore a packett from Raven's hands, and gluped it down.

"YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Terra said.

"Oh no," Robin said effortlessly.

The three girls were doomed to a ten-hour sugar-high.

"How did you let them do this?" Cyborg asked.

We were all cramped into the closet, because the three girls were playing 'fairy tag' with hallucinated faries. They were breaking anything that got in their way. It got to the point were the three girls threw anything at the 'faries.'

"Sorry dude, it just was out of my control." I said, trying not to take the blame.

"THAT ONE WAS MINE!!!!!" Came Raven's voice. "I AM SO NOT YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE TERRA!"

"WELL I DON'T CARE, S'NOT YOU WERE EVER NICE!"

"SHUT UP FOOLS! THEY'RE LISTENING!" Came an angry Starfire.

There was silence, and then a loud crash.

"Shhh!" Raven said quietly, trying to hold back laughter.

In one quick motion, Terra riped open the door, Raven threw a pilliow into the closet, and Starfire screamed, "PILLOW FIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!"

I said miserably, covered in feathers, "Am I the only one who hates the attention we're getting?"

"Let's play spin the bottle!" Raven announced.

The three boys stood in the doorway of the closet, all jaws scraping against the floor.

"You're joking.... right?" Robin asked dumbfoundedly.

"No way, _boyfriend!_" Starfire said.

Terra began digging for a bottle in the trashcan.

"Oh no!" Terra announced so loud, the boys had to cover their ears. "NO BOTTLE!!!!"

"NO BOTTLE?!" Raven and Starfire said loudly. "NOOOOOOOOOOO BOOOOOOOOTTLLLLEEEEEEE???!!!"

"Enough shouting." Robin demanded.

"OKAAAAAAYY!!" Raven shouted in his ear.

"Here's a bottle!" Starfire said, lowering the tone of her voice.

"Cooooooooll!" Terra said, walking over the the circle of girls.

"Oh wait!!! I got a really really really really really really really really really funny joke!!!" Raven said obnoxiously.

"Okay.... What is a cannibal's favorite game?" Raven asked.

There was silence. "Dummies! It's SWALLOW THE LEADER!!"

We sat staring at the very changed girl. The joke was dumb even for my standards! On the other hand, Starfire and Terra were laughing so hard, they were crying.

"You are sooo good at jokes, Ravey." Terra admitted, wiping away tears. "Let's play!"

We were forced to play, fearing for our lives.

"I spin the bottle, and you have to tell the truth about something or I say a dare." Raven said.

With my luck, it pointed at me first.

"AWWHH!! BB!" Terra moaned.

"T or D?" Raven asked.

"Ummm.... dare?" I said, not knowing what misfortune was in my future.

"Ahhh..." Raven said, looking around, mouth open. "I dare you.... to..... ummmmmmmm let's see. I dare you to make out with Terra."

It was the last thing I wanted to do. "No way."

"Too bad!" Terra said, leaping at me from behind, and raping her arms around me.

"Wrep!" I tried to shout, but Terra practically stuck her head in my mouth.

She tasted like a pixie stick.

Next was Raven. "Okaaay guys, you have to make me tell the truth about something!!!!"

"Ooooohhh! I know!" Starfire said. "Have you ever wanted to be BF with another TT?"

"Yeah!" Raven said. "1Tim BB and nothr CY."

They were talking in Text Message code.

"4REAL?" Terra said.

"Hells yeah!" Raven said.

The bottle then pointed at Robin.

"Truth." He said quickly.

Raven narrowed her eyes, and looked from side to side. It was as if she was looking for something. "Ohhkaaaay Robin. Do you wanna kiss me?"

"No." He said monotone, and crossing his arms.

"Awww. My little Robbie's pouting!" Raven said, sounding alot like Kitten.

"I am soo over this!" Starfire said.

"Yaaah me too." Terra agreed. "You boys can play together."

We all looked at each other in the corner of our eyes.

"No way!" Cyborg said.

The three girls stood up singing in a chorus, "Glen! Glen Glen Glen! Glen Glen Glen! Glen Glen Glennnnn! Glen's the man Goin' to work Got his tie Got ambition Middle management, is right in his grasp It's a dream he will never let die. Glen's the man of the hour; He's the king of his cube. Status quo reports have finally met their rival. Burning the candle at both ends on his way to the top. He knows one day he just could become... supervisor. Roy! Roy Roy Roy..."

We thought we were home free, until Terra ran in screaming, "GUYS COME QUICK!"

I was the first to follow. She led us to Starfire's room. Raven and Starfire looked as if they were dozing off to sleep, then they caught themselves saying, "OOh" and "Aaahhh."

Terra shrieked, "Enthralled Narcalepts love Emerald Nuts!"

Cyborg sighed, Robin glared, I stared. That joke was hilarious! I burst out in loud laughter. Apperantly, the girls didn't think it was funny, so I laughed alone. Starfire stared, and walked up to me slowly. Before I could react, she shoved a spoonful of Sugar Yum down my throat.

(CYBORG'S POV)

I really felt bad for BB when Star gave him the stuff.... NOT! It was hilarious. He shuddered, and his lips twisted in different directions, then for the finale, his head exploded. Robin gave me the not-now glare, so I held back all laughter.

"WOOT!" BB shrieked so loud, my eardrums almost exploded. "BB IN DA HOUSE!"

"NOOOT BB!!!!" Terra screamed so loud, people in space heard her.

"Dude, they're acting like children." I told Robin.

There was no reply. I turned around to see Robin being forced to eat a packet. Beast Boy was morphed into an octopus, holding his waist, arms, and legs.

"NOOO!" I yelled in slow motion, as I tried to eat it for him. My efforts were in vain. (Booyah! That sounds so cool!)

"They'll run out of the stuff soon," I told myself, locked in the locked in the closet, on the edege of insanity. I spoke too soon.

"WEGG NEED MOREAHGG CANDAYHHH!!" BB said, with the stuff shoved in his mouth.

Apparently, Raven did her melting thingy, where she goes through walls, and grabbed a year's worth. They were throwing them around, and one slid under the closet door. I picked it up and read the back.

"Stupid stuff." I said, just before reading the warning label.

It said: "WARNING! Causes extreme hyper-activity when taken in large doses. To Reverse Effects: Give the victim DASO.

I was fed up. "What the hell's DASO? The people who write this are sugar high too!!"

"I found him!!! TEAM RAVEN WINS!!! YESSS!" Raven hissed, as she discovered me.

Raven's aditude change was sickening to me. Raven grabbed me, and dragged me into the dining room.

"Silly Cy, you can't miss out on the ALPHABET GAME!" Starfire said to me.

"What!" I said exasperatedly. "People play that game and get wasted!"

BB walked out of the kitchen with a pitcher of a smelly, sea-sick green liquid. "We're playing with the mystery liquid!" BB announced, "we're playing the alphabet game, clockwise, and we're naming cities."

I didn't want to play even though I could find the cities via my built-in internet.

"Ravey! You start!" Robin shouted in and odd way.

"Agusta."

Starfire "Hawaii!"

"NOOOOO!!!! HAWAII IS SOO NOT A STATE!" Terra screamed. "DRINK!!!"

Stafire drank and said, "OOOHHH YUMMY!!!"

"They super-awesome-koolio-kewl-wow-neato-phabulus-great-super-super-super extra ingredient is SHUUUugar YUUUUM!" BB shouted.

"C?" Robin asked. "Columbus!"

Terra: "Denver"

"C'mon Cyborg!!" Robin whined, after I didn't respond.

"No," I said stubbornly.

"GET HIM!!" Terra shouted.

The five Titans jumped at me, and began to try to force the mystery drink down my throat.

(CHASE SCENE MUSIC!)

I'm bouncing off the walls again Woah Oh

And I'm looking like a fool again Woah Oh

I threw away my reputation

One more song for the radio station

I'm bouncing off the walls again woah oh

And I'm looking like a fool again woah oh

Waking up on the bathroom floor

Pull myself back together just to fall once more

And my heart's beating out of my chest woah oh

And this town is still making me sick woah oh

And every penny from my last paycheck

I've blown it on you

I'm bouncing off the walls again woah oh

And I'm looking like a fool again woah oh

So go ahead and take a picture

And hang it up so you can tear me down

They hog-tied me, and gaged me.

"There! Tin man won't be goin' ANYWHERE!" Terra said.

"Awwwhhh! Then who's gonna be the Tin Man in our Wiiiizard oooof OoooooZ play?" Robin whined.

"OH! NO WAY AM I GONNA DO THAT!" I shouted.

Against my will, they wrapped me in alluminum foil, and pained red spots on my cheeks with makeup. We commenced the play, and I tried to add spice to the dumb, goody-goody movie.

"No, Star, shoot the flying monkeys with your starbolts." (BB was the flying monkey.)

"C'mon Cyborg, you hafta play nice!" Robin whined.

"QUIT WHINING! YOU'VE BEEN AT IT FOREVER!" I shouted angerly.

"I-I-I'm sorry." Robin whined quietly.

Raven was trying a quick pick-me-up. She pulled a can of Coke from the fridge. Raven snapped it open, and took a long sip. Her eyes grew wide, and she hiccuped really loud. She looked fatigued, and fainted. I ran over to pick her up off the ground.

"Oh yeah DASO is an anagram for soda. Kewl!

"Oh yeah DASO is an anagram for soda. Kewl! Rae, you okay?" I asked, subconsciously thinking she'd wake up and scream in my face.

She squinted, as if the lights were too bright. "What happened?" She mumbled.

Raven was having a sugar hangover (LOL). "You had too much sugar."

I quietly dragged her to her room and placed her on her bed.

"Thanks, Cy." She said sincerely.

"HEY RAE..... WE FOUND THE TWINKIES!" BB shouted, which caused Raven to grab her head in pain.

"Hey, BB, c'mere." I said, with the coke in my hand.

He walked over, and I forced it down his throat. He fell to the floor in agony.

"Suggiez: 3 SuperCy: 3 booyah!" I announced the score enegetically.

It wasn't long before I got Robin and Terra. They were a sedated, and in Raven's room. Lastly was Starfire. She was the one to rember.

"COME AND GET ME!" She said, on the climax of her sugar rush.

I was outta energy, and low on Coke. Finally she had me trapped in her room, with handfulls of Suugar Yum in her hands.

"You'll love the feeling!" Stafire said, who was becoming an addict.

"Eat this scum!" Raven said, from behind Starfire, who had a squirtgun filled with soda.

Starfire pivoted, just to have almost a gallon squirted in her throat. Raven who was leaned up against the doorway, smiled. Starfire passed out, and stayed out for eighteen hours.

(RAE POV)

It was only six months later, alothough I had gotten over the sugar rush, I wondered where the remaining Sugar Yum was. We were having a Titans Ball (like a polliceman's ball.) I was sitting in the corner trying my best to enjoy the uptune music. The guests were: Aqualad, Speedy, Hot Spot, Wilderbeest, Bumble Bee, Jinx, and Gizmo (who had betrayed HIVE in a large chain of events.) Aqualad came running up to the top deck, where we were dancing and talking.

"DUUDES LOOK WHAT I GOT!!!!!"


	2. PS

Sorry for not updating recently, I have a ton of stuff goin down.

ninjamonkey- I guess thanks....

geodivins- you got skillz too

Wild Spirit of Darkness2- I'm glad you laughed, and YES a sequel is in 'development'

wanderingmind911- Hopefully you'll laugh # 2.

I know most sequels aren't as good as the first. I'm trying my best for new ideas, and I have school, hopefully I can make ut equally as good, if not better, well I'm off to write.


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